WOMAN AT THE FENCE

“Silence before the storm
I reach the house hidden by the night

A light I saw I knocked all quietly
I entered; a woman sat by the spinning wheel

“What brings you here my child”, she asked?
“Don’t you know our lady keeps her secrets well?”

It’s my life I am running from
It’s my fate I am hiding from,
Oh, would the Goddess speak to me?

Her ways I don’t understand, the mysteries that I must know,
Oh, would the Mother see through me?

“Why don’t you rest my child”, she said, “I will seek her advice, I will wake you when it’s time”
All night by the spinning wheel, she sang an ancient tune and in the morn’ her work was done
In the distance I heard a call, I awoke and I held the spindle in my hand
My other hand it held new life, the Goddess had been by my side and her blessing was mine.”
Frigga’s Web by Hagalaz Runedance

“I’m standing in a meadow. Grass all around. In front of me on a distance a long long wooden fence and a deep knowing within that when
I will pass that fence there will be no returning back for ever more.”
I am 9, seriously ill with extreme high fever and I do not pass.
The image of the wooden fence markS a moment in time of choice, a choice to live for life was on one side of it and death on the other. A fence beiNg a border, a borderline between two different worlds.

In 1975 this wooden fence would appear in my life once more. But this time it would not appear in my dream but in the dream of someone else. That someone else I had met at school while being a very young girl. Ten years later, that Sunday morning 1975, I simply dialed the number I still remembered. His father answered the phone telling me his son was still asleep and if I could call back later. I did. When I mentioned my name he was not surprised at all. He told me that he had a dream that very night in which he had seen me sitting on a fence, a wooden fence like the one in my fever dream. Then it was my turn to be surprised.
What I came to understand is that the wooden fence was a marker of important moments of choice in my life and I had to smile realizing that fence (in Dutch hek) is part of my lastname: Hekman.

It is November 2017. I’m in my room sitting with a question, pondering/meditating how to react, how to respond to this subject at hand. My thoughts are wandering around freely and I am following them, following them to the North, to the Runes and Stories of my Ancestors and before “waking up” I see a wooden fence, the wooden fence, with as it looks like the shape of the Rune Yr in it, the one with the arrow and in a split second a woman standing at the fence. Back in my room I’m wondering who this woman is. Is it Eir, one of the Helpers of Mengloth, the Norse Healer who lives high on a mountain top? What is her message for me?
And, the fence was there again. What does that mean.
I have no answers.
What I understand is finding myself again at another important moment in my life and, to hold focus (Yr) but, on what?

Water for me is a bringer of clear messages. And so it does two weeks later while taking a long warm shower.
Being on a Ancestry/Family Journey since a year, having collected lots of info and having found back living relatives overseas in the US and Canada (I’m living in the Netherlands) I am called to write a book, a book about our Family History, to reconnect families who have been separated by the ocean for a long time, to reconnect us all, with each other, our Homeland, our Ancestors, our Roots.
What is connecting us is our last name “Hekman”. What is the meaning of this name.
This is what I find:
Literally the name Hekman means “man (living) at the fence”. We can think of a farm or house called The Fence because it is situated near a fence that separates it from a road.
In 1285 the Monastery Betelehem (Gelderland province NL) received the right to, in times of danger, close the road that went through its territory by placing a fence. The property that was situated nearby they started to call At The Fence” and later on “The Fence”.

Again, The fence as a border in case separating the land from the road, keeping two worlds apart from each other.
But I feel a Connector and I think of Isa who, when she appears as ice, creates a bridge where was water first. Then Ior pops up.

At school I have learned that fences, rivers, mountains are separating what is on both sides of them. Ior now is teaching me something different.
The Isa (vertical line) in the middle of Ior we can see as separating the two sides of it but also as connecting them. Standing at Isa, in that liminal space, that world in between, I can see both sides. It is my choice to see them being separated or being connected.
And so it is with the wooden fence of my life being an Isa in between two worlds. It is my choice to connect them or to keep them apart.
It is my choice to pass the Fence and explore the other side or to stay where I am.
Is the young woman an Invitation to enter a new area in my life?
What choice will I make?
When Hagalaz comes my way it is clear “disturbance” has arrived, a Storm ready to blow me out of my comfort zone, ready to disrupt the threads once spun and woven into a pattern no longer needed.
I hold the Spindle in my hand
My other hand it holds new life.


Frigga’s Web  – listen

 

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